Once upon a time there was a lady named Sablelocks who needed a new bed. She tried all of the beds in her house, but couldn’t find the right one.
One was too hard and the other was too soft. Sablelocks journeyed through the urban jungle and stumbled on a magical store which had an overabundance of beds. Big beds, small beds, short beds and tall beds. Beds with pillow tops and beds with muffin tops. As she sank into a foam bed, she knew this was the one. So Sablelocks wheeled and dealed for a discount and came home with a Tempurpedic bed.
We got a new bed! Well, it was new two months ago, but we’ve past the return date so it really is ours now. C has been having back problems and insisted on getting a Tempurpedic bed. Not just any memory foam mattress, but the number one selling mattress in America which was designed for astronauts. Or so the salesman told us. C thought it would make all of his dreams come true, since he would finally be able to sleep, so I caved and shelled out the
small Chanel purse money for the bed.
I expected to be so well rested that the dark circles under my eyes would be erased. C expected to sleep past 8am. Neither of our wishes came true. It is supposed to form to your body, but it doesn’t really work for me. Maybe because it is new or maybe because it is cold, but I feel like I’m sleeping on top of a box. I am sleeping on a homeless person’s dream: a luxurious, top of the line cardboard box. C has slept in a Tempurpedic before, but doesn’t remember it being this hard.
We got the Rhapsody model which is supposed to be the latest version which solves the problem of holding too much heat and making people sweaty while they sleep. But I think this is what is making the bed hard. It takes more heat to get it to conform to your body.
I lobbied hard to return it. I even went as far as going back to the store to inquire about the return policy and the salesman suggested that I walk on it to soften it up. We didn’t do it. I finally succumbed to laziness, forgetfulness and C. So, we’re keeping the bed. Buying a bed isn’t something people do too often so here are some tips:
1. If you buy a Tempurpedic, don’t try to belly flop onto it. There aren’t any springs to absorb the shock and the force will just travel back into your body.
2. Buy from Sleeptrain (which we did not) because they have a money back guarantee. Another reason we didn’t return the bed was because we could only get store credit at Mancini’s Sleepworld. What other bed costs or is worth the price of a Tempurpedic? Not many since bed prices are so inflated.
3. When buying a traditional spring bed, feel the sides of the bed. If you can feel the springs, it is not going to give you good support. So the salesman said. But we did notice a difference when we were trying beds.
4. Drink coffee, 5 hour energy or something with caffeine because you will get sleepy while you practice sleeping in the store beds.
Am I happy with the bed? Reluctantly, yes. My arm doesn’t go numb when I sleep on my side and it does minimize the amount of movement that is transferred when C is shifting around. Will it be the next bed we buy in fifteen years? I’m not sure, but I’ve been dreaming about the Serta sheep and a heavenly cloud-like pillow top.